Don't Let The Bedbugs Bite
by moeexyz
Summary: Somebody breaks into Annie's apartment and now is too scared to stay there. The gang gets together to help her out and discover for various reasons the only place she can stay at is Jeff's. Ficcy Friday prompt.


_A/N - From a Ficcy Friday prompt on M/M. Somebody breaks into Annie's apartment and now is too scared to stay there. The gang gets together to help her out and discover for various reasons the only place she can stay at is Jeff's._

_**Disclaimer:** Not mine. Duh._

**DON'T LET THE BEDBUGS BITE  
**

**Britta's Apartment**

Annie hated that stupid burglar. Not for breaking in, well, a little for that. No, she hated him because it was his fault that she was staying with Britta.

"Thanks for letting me stay here tonight, Britta" Annie had said, clutching on a giant pink pillow and a bag full of her stuff.

"No problem, Annie. I get that you're scared. And besides, it'll fun right. Like a sleepover" Britta had said, awkwardly trying to be girly. Annie had smiled politely, but kept in mind that if Britta offered to braid her hair it would probably be best to just tell her to let the sleepover thing go.

The night hadn't started off too bad. Britta had pulled out a futon for Annie, and had even put clean sheets on it to make it look presentable. Annie was glad that Britta was making such an effort to make her feel at home. But as it turned out, Britta's apartment canceled out any effort Britta made. For starters, Annie had a habit of getting up for a glass of water in the middle of the night. And Britta's cats had a habit of lying in the middle of the kitchen floor.

A loud _meeeeoooooowww_ and several hundred painful scratches later Britta was awake, standing in the kitchen doorway, holding a hairbrush as a weapon, ready to murder whoever was disturbing Sir Meows-A-Lot. Annie knew it was probably her imagination seeing how tired she was, but she was positive the cat was smirking at her when Britta started petting him, instead of asking Annie if she was okay.

((()))

**Abed's Dorm**

"And then, she took the cat to bed with her! And now I have back problems from sleeping on the futon! I mean, I know it was nice of her to let me stay, but really? She's really just taking the cat's side?"

"It makes sense for her character. Britta's the kind of person who alienates herself by being too, well, the best word for it is Britta-ish. I'm not surprised her best friend is her cat."

"Yeah, well, thanks for letting me stay with you instead, Abed. I really appreciate you doing this."

"No problem."

He had lied. It was a problem. Well, maybe not for him, but for her...she couldn't for the life of her remember why she'd thought bunking with Abed would be a good idea.

Maybe for Troy waking up to find Abed watching you like statue was fun, but for her, it was really, really, _really_ creepy. Especially when she woke up at 1am because of a nightmare about cats. (Stupid Sir Meows-A-Lot!)

"Abed, what are you doing?"

"Observing."

"...Why?"

"I never get to see my characters when they sleep. You know the subconscious can be very revealing. For example, you talk in your sleep. And from what you were saying, I'm guessing you had a dream where you were a mouse being chased by a cat."

"Abed...that's really weird."

"Sorry. do you want me to stop."

"Yes!"

"Okay." But before he stopped he pulled out his notebook, the one where he kept track of their menstrual cycles, and wrote something. To be honest, Annie was too freaked out to ask what.

"Hey, Annie, would you be up for an experiment on how-"

"No, Abed!"

"Right, sorry."

((()))

**Shirley's House**

She wasn't desperate enough to resort to Troy (with the added Pierce) just yet.

"He really did that? How did you sleep?"

"I didn't! Now I'm exhausted, and I still have scratches and a bad back from Britta's. It wouldn't be a problem if I stayed with you, would it Shirley?"

"Of course not, Annie. I couldn't possibly let you stay with Abed again. Lord only knows what that boy would do to you."

No, what Lord knew, was what Shirley's boys would do to her, and really, Lord should have prepared her for that. For some reason, Elijah and Jordan thought she was some version of the stepmother in The Parent Trap because when she woke up to get her nightly glass of water, all the furniture in the room had been moved around, and her clothes were hanging around the place, inside out. She must have been really exhausted not to wake up through that.

It got worse in the morning when they tied her shoelaces together, and switched the salt with the sugar so that her coffee was ruined. Shirley had told her they just liked to fool around a little with guests. They just had to get used to her, that's all. Fat chance. Like she was gonna stay long enough for that to happen.

((()))

**Hawthorne Mansion**

_Now _she was desperate.

"Your shirt's inside out."

"I know, Troy!"

"And apparently, so's her PMS."

"That doesn't even make sense, Pierce!"

She must have been losing her mind to actually resort to Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee. Troy was psyched by the idea.

"...we can play video games all night, and we can eat candy before bed, and we can have some real food for once, since the cook quit after Pierce asked him when the baby was due, and..."

There was a long list Annie didn't want to listen to.

She had slept in the spare room between Pierce and Troy's rooms. Why she thought that wouldn't end badly was beyond her.

It wasn't the Morse code that Troy kept knocking on the wall that made her realize what a stupid idea this was. It wasn't the sound of Pierce watching porn in the middle of the night. It wasn't Troy constantly asking if they could have a pillow fight, or Pierce ordering her to make like a woman and get in the kitchen to make him a sandwich. It was the freezing cold air that blew around the mansion. Every single room was cold. And Annie could take a bit of cold, but it was so bad that she had to borrow a jacket from Troy.

The next morning, she found out the reason the house was so cold was because Troy was growing a family of lizards under the pool table. Which didn't even make sense because lizards probably needed hot climate to live. He was gonna end up with a family of dead lizards, and she really didn't want to be around for that.

Screw it, she'd be homeless if she had to.

((()))

**Jeff's Place**

Jeff was watching her that morning, half concerned, half amused.

"You look exhausted."

"Well, my back hurts, I'm afraid of cats and Abed, all my clothes are completely disorganized, and I'm permanently freezing thanks to Troy's lizard family."

"Why don't you just go home?"

"Oh, so I can get murdered by Dildopolis' best customer. I don't think so, Jeff!"

"Okay, fine. You can stay with me then. Although, I still don't understand why you didn't ask me before heading for the Hawthorne mansion."

She didn't ask because she thought he'd say no.

He would have, but the state she was in right now wasn't fair on any human being. He was surprisingly gentlemanly about it. Gave her clean sheets, a new pillow. He even took the couch because he knew how bad her back was. It was almost perfect, except for the guilt. Halfway through the night, as she went for her glass of water, she walked out to find him awkwardly tossing and turning on the couch because the leather kept sticking to his face and his legs were too long to fit. She offered to take the couch instead.

"No, Annie. You're the guest. You get the bed."

She told him it was his house, and she didn't want to impose.

"You're not imposing. Just take the bed."

She told him she knew how annoying a sore back was, and didn't want to be the reason he had one.

"Annie just take the bed, okay. I'll be fine."

She suggested they both take the bed. He didn't have an argument against that. They shared a long look. Then they both looked at the bed. Then they shared another long look.

"I suppose we could use a pillow wall" He had said, although he didn't sound like he meant it.

She agreed.

She slept soundly for the first night since the break-in. Her back could stretch perfectly on his bed. Her fear of cats seemed to fade away once he broke the pillow wall and draped his arm around her stomach. Her fear of Abed, went with it. The furniture in his room didn't move and her clothes stayed the right way around. And most importantly, the heat radiating off of him made her almost forget about Troy's lizards. (Almost, because that sort of thing would scar you for life).

But still, she'd gotten a good night sleep without interruptions. _Now _it was perfect.

She realized maybe she didn't hate that burglar quite as much as she thought.


End file.
